Sex, Lies and Waterboarding

I wonder why Lynne Cheney is being so coy about writing a racy lesbian love scene (or scenes) in her book, Sisters. Scooter Libby, former chief of staff to the Lynne's hubby Vice President Dick Cheney, had us enthralled -- no, more like grossed out -- with his tepid novel The Apprentice, featuring young Japanese maidens being "seduced" by bears in cages.

Ms. Cheney and other Republicans are tattling on Jim Webb (D) running for US Senate in Virginia against incumbent George "Hey Macaca!" Allen (R). Mr. Webb, a former Secretary of Navy during the Reagan administration, and author of 10 books including the acclaimed Lost Soldiers and Fields of Fire.

According to the tattlers, Mr. Webb writes porno. He is insensitive to women they claim. He wrote a really super-duper nasty scene in one book involving a father and son. Ewwwwwwwww! Meanwhile the Vice President says he thinks waterboarding is good clean fun.

I'll be honest: Haven't read any of their books and don't intend to. This scrum is intended to distract Virginia voters -- and yes, those of us in other parts of the country from the real issues at stake in this election. I find it coincidental that the VP's remarks about how waterboarding really isn't torture and is okay with him seemed to bubble up to the surface during the same news cycle. (Let's see: you say something shocking and controversial regarding torture and whether or not you condone it, and your wife deflects some of the attention which should be focused on your sorry excuse for a behind by claiming that a Democratic senate candidate writes porno. Things that make you go "hmmmmmmmmm.")

The torture in specific question is waterboarding where a prisoner is tied to an inclined board, feet above the head. Water is then poured over the prisoner's head which, according to various descriptions, may be bare, covered with cloth or cellophane. The object of the exercise is to induce a severe gag reflex -- the choking, drowning response -- which causes the prisoner to (under "ideal" circumstances) to believe he or she is in imminent danger of death to quickly give in so that the torture will stop. If it is not performed correctly the prisoner may suffer oxygen deprivation and brain and lung damage, and for the very unlucky, real, not simulated, death.

Mr. Webb writes fiction. Some of it is about sex. Mr. Cheney's issues are factual: Waterboarding has been defined by persons far more expert than the VP or the President as torture. He and the President either support using torture on detainees or they don't. All evidence, including Mr. Cheney's own words demonstrate that they do.